Letter #3 : Your Crush

30 LETTERS PROMPTS:
- Your Best Friend;
- Your Crush;
- Your Parents;
- Your Sibling (or closest relative);
- Your Dreams;
- A Stranger;
- Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush,
- Your Favorite Internet Friend;
- Someone You Wish You Could Meet;
- Someone You Don't Talk to as Much as You'd Like to;
- A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk To;
- The Person You Hate the Most/Caused You a Lot of Pain;
- Someone You Wish Could Forgive You;
- The Person You Miss the Most;
- Someone You've Drifted Away From;
- Someone That's Not in Your State/Country;
- Someone From Your Childhood;
- The Person That You Wish You Could Be;
- Someone That Pesters Your Mind - Good or Bad;
- The One That Broke Your Heart the Hardest;
- Someone You Judged by Their First Impression;
- Someone You Want to Give a Second Chance to;
- The Last Person You Kissed;
- The Person That Gave You Your Favorite Memory;
- The Person You Know That is Going Through the Worst of Times;
- The Last Person You Made a Pinky Promise to;
- The Friendliest Person You Knew For a Day;
- Someone That Changed Your Life;
- The Person That You Want to Tell Everything to, But Too Afraid to;
- Your Reflection in the Mirror.

~*~

Dear Tall, Skinny, Blond boys everywhere,

I know this letter is supposed to be directed to a singular person, but I couldn't help but bend the rules a little. Because (and I know my housemates will scoff at me when they read this) for once in my life, I am crush-less. It's a very strange feeling. I've become known for my intense crushes, which last for far longer than 'crushes' should probably last. All, inevitably, boys who either would never like me back or, in the latest case, simply don't like me enough. 

But I'm a sucker for romance. For idealism. For building up a person in my head, no matter how often I see their realities, and projecting my affection onto the image I have so carefully cultivated, rather than the flawed human being I should be.

(Does that make me shallow?)

It's a hard habit to break, one that I can't seem to. For every missed call or disappointing response, I'm there with an excuse. Oh, he's busy. Oh, he's just distracted. Oh, you shouldn't have bothered him. I'm willing to become the bad guy in my own eyes, just to cover up their mistakes. And I'm finally, finally sick of it.

I don't want to be the only one who tries. I don't want to carry on caring for someone who has lost interest - or worse, had none in the first place. I don't want to be the one you call only when you need something. 

(Sew your own damn buttons on.)

So for now, I'm crushless. Happy to admire strangers passing on the way to Uni and flirt a little in clubs, sure. But I don't have the energy to invest so much feeling in an idol right now.

So, Tall, Skinny, Blond boys of Nottingham, here's your challenge: make me believe you care. Until then, I'll be waiting patiently. I have Gossip Girl and Grey's Anatomy to keep me entertained.

Love, Demi xo