In which Demi goes there and back again.

A belated happy 2014 everyone!

(...pauses for odd stares)

Ahem. I realise I am beyond late, but quite how we're nearly mid-February I'm not sure. Last time I blinked it was New Year, and I was stood in the wind and rain and cold as close to the South Bank as I could get (not very, since we got waylaid by a pub and had to make do with watching the fireworks through gaps in the London skyline).

Now I'm home, home home, back in the North, and my London life feels like a dream. August to the end of November, as well as a hefty chunk of January - gone in a flash. I had the busiest and best, best, best time, making new friends and reconnecting with a whole bunch of people from University. There was an immediate shift daan Saauff (that's 'down south' for those who don't understand my pretty accurate imitation of my dire southern accent) in September 2012, after graduation, but I was part of the second wave - people who, like me, had been figuring things out for a year, or had been tied up in a four year course.

Jumping in at the deep end, I stayed with a friend of mine for the first week while I checked out potential rooms, and ended up living in the quiet area of Raynes Park with three complete strangers, who turned out to be ridiculously nice. Bonus! For a city-phobe like myself it was perfect - a fast train route straight into Waterloo, enough shops in nearby Wimbledon and Kingston for me to spend my non-existant income, and my best friend close enough for after-work visits. Yes, my darling Elf made the jump down in the September, and together we explored Clapham (Infernos and Aquum owe me some of my dignity), ate incredible food in Balham (and most other places actually) and spent a ridiculously fun afternoon meeting one of my writing heroes in Kensington at a film and comic convention.

Oh Aquum...

My adoptive southern family

Elf (R), her friend Natalie (L) and myself

My adorable little Raynes Park room

A family trip to Kew Gardens in the summer, when my parents brought down (more of) my stuff

Yes, yes he does. One of my favourite PR stunts, I moved down only a couple of weeks after Murray's historic Wimbledon win, to find that the local Morrisons had replaced their name to acknowledge his achievement.

I couch-surfed for longer than I probably should have in January - it's a good job Elf's housemates have practically adopted me at this point - until I had to realise that my drained bank account spelled out only one thing: H-O-M-E-T-I-M-E.

So with two more solid PR placements under my belt, I must admit I was disappointed to leave London empty-handed in terms of a job. A couple of near misses and several 'let's keep in touch' open endings have me furiously applying while supplementing myself with freelance work for my first placement.

[FYI, if you're interested in beauty and want to get some amazing behind-the-scenes interviews with top make-up artists, from Bourjois and Bobbi Brown to the legend behind The Lord of the Rings (I genuinely nearly died of excitement when he wrote back to me), then check out Warpaint, which I write for!]

SO, while I recalibrate myself and dust off the ol' blog (and journal, and writing notebooks - they've all been in a drought too), I'll leave you with a couple of songs which are currently being repeatedly blasted from my room, much to my family's frustration joy.

They've missed me really. xo.

'Can't Remember to Forget You' - Shakira ft. Rihanna. Two of the sexiest ladies on the planet, and two of my favourite female vocalists. Joy!

'SuperLove' - Charli XCX. Bubblegum pop perfection.

'Girls' - The 1975. I caught these guys at Dot to Dot Festival last spring, and they were amazing, even though they were suffering with sound tech problems.

'Happy' - Pharrell Williams. Because who doesn't love this song?

In which Demi is Bloglovin'

Not sure why it's taken me this long, but I can finally stop saving links of all the blogs I follow since I've joined Bloglovin'!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Updates to come soon, I promise! I've moved to London for some PR internships, and life has been non-stop since! xo.

In which Demi's motivation and mojo emerge from hibernation

Bonjour! I have returned! After another heinous absence, I know. In all truth, I feel like I've just been in the wrong headspace for the last few months. My journal-keeping went out the window along with my blogging, I stopped keeping up with other blogs, and generally lost my writing mojo. Along with my motivation, pro-activity, interest and all sorts of pretty important things.

I was stuck in a massive rut. One the size of the Grand Canyon. Six months out of a prestigious university, with a high 2:1 degree in English, I was working full-time as a waitress in a creparie, on minimum wage, feeling my brain slowly atrophy into mush.

I moved home after university for a number of reasons - mainly because of my health, which threw off all plans of a job until it was sorted. And without a job, I had no money to rent my own place. And, truthfully, I was scared. Scared of graduate life - real life - without the buffers of studentdom. Of holding down a job and paying bills and finding somewhere to live and starting fresh with no-one I knew. Even though I'd trotted off to Nottingham happily enough, that was different - I was living in halls of residence, I had no real responsibilities other than showing up for classes, and I knew two people from school in my own hall, never mind one of my best friends being across the road in another hall.

So I came home. As, I'd assumed, many others in my situation would.

I was wrong. Massively wrong.

I'd (stupidly) assumed that life at home would be similar to my life before uni. I was looking forward to catching up with friends from home, from high school. And it just didn't happen - because nobody came home to stay. The majority headed back to uni at the end of the summer - third years, fourth years, PGCEs, Masters and law school called them away. S. took a much-needed extended vacation following her Cambridge law degree, before she started work at one of the most successful law firms in the country. A. got herself suited up [stylishly so; if there's one thing A. doesn't do, it's boring office clothes] and headed down to London to start her climb up the long ladder at PWC. And my darling Elf strapped on her skis at the end of October to try her hand as a ski instructor for a season. She returns on Monday and I am practically giddy with anticipation.

Because when Elf left, it was just me. Me, and two of my best male friends - one who had no idea what to do post-uni, one who had gone straight into work after quitting school and was soaring up the ranks in the company he works for. And though I love them both dearly, they are two of the most useless people I know when it comes to replying to messages, remembering things and making plans.

So my social life quickly dried up, and although I had a job it was hardly stimulating. I found myself growing more and more sloth-like, unable to muster the energy or enthusiasm even to write. It was a new experience for me, one which I found supremely uncomfortable; I have been writing, in some guise, shape or form, since I was a child. To lose the will to write scared me, and made me even more miserable.

It all came to a head over Christmas, when everyone came home again. I was so excited to see everyone, but became quickly depressed by all of their exciting lives and stories, by seeing faces freeze into awkward smiles as they said "oh, that sounds... nice" when I said I was working as a waitress. While out for a meal with my home-girls, mid-lecture/pep talk by A. and S., I suddenly felt the tears start to well up as I shrugged off their questions about what I was doing about job searching, and why I wasn't being proactive, trying to make jokes and deflect them.

Being quizzed by two of the most driven and career-minded people I've ever met, who had no concept of why I was not pushing myself forward, and subsequently feeling so worthless and lazy and confused, was the thing that tipped me over the edge. I started crying as everything seemed to crash over me, feeling desperately embarrassed at making such a scene at dinner. A. grabbed me and steered me outside, where everything came tumbling out. How I'd been avoiding visiting her in London because I was so jealous of her new lifestyle. How I felt like I was letting everyone down. How I'd suddenly lost all of my enthusiasm for PR, and now had no idea what to apply for because I didn't want to do anything other than stay in and watch movies and bad TV. How lonely I was, and how hard it had been to go back to living under my parents' roof having lived away for three years, but how I felt I'd regressed back to a teenage state after becoming accustomed to it.

I've never been one to make New Years Resolutions. But for 2013, I promised myself that I would make a change. That I would figure out what I was going to do, and then just bloody do it. I was healthy, I was (and hopefully still am) smart, and I owed it to myself, and to others, to get going again.

And, out of the blue, an opportunity fell into my lap. The daughter of one of my mum's horse-riding friends rang me one morning in January, and said that she'd heard I was looking for a job. She enquired about what I was looking for, and asked if would I be interested in an Admin Assistant position at the Human Relations company she worked at.

Within a week or so, I was being interviewed by them. Although not directly related to PR, I knew the job would be a massive step in the right direction – lots of typing, answering the phones, general admin assistance, and the proper office experience which I desperately needed. Coming from a waitressing job, I knew I would be able to handle the hosting aspect of the job – keeping the centre presentable and topping up the tea, coffee, fruit, biscuits etc for the participants and clients of the courses being held at the centre. I almost lost the job when they tested my (highly rusty) typing and Excel skills, but was equally shocked and delighted when they offered me the job less than an hour after I’d returned home.

I handed in my notice at the creparie, and have since been working at the Human Relations company for just over two months now. I am infinitely happier – learning new skills, using my brain(!), meeting new people daily. I get on really well with the rest of the staff, of which I feel very much the baby of the group (but in a nice way). It’s so different from when I was bouncing off one other staff member at the creparie most days, as it was only a small shop. I’m earning more, and have been able to afford trips to both London and Nottingham, so I feel much more connected to my friends, even with the distance.

The job was initially a six-month contract, with the potential to continue, and with half of my time there now spent I am starting to look ahead, and think about what I want to do. The reassuring fact is that I’m not facing forward with trepidation now, but excitement. I’ve got my mojo, my confidence back. I’ve remembered what it’s like to feel like myself again, and I have no intention of letting that go. I’m reading more, and writing snippets here and there. I’m intently keeping up with the news once more, with the newest beauty products, with film releases and my other interests.

I care again. And it’s such a relief, and a blessing, that it’s horrible to even cast my mind back a couple of months to when I simply... didn’t. I was just existing; trudging through empty, repetitive and tiring days.

I’ve got a ton of ideas for blog posts – raving about music I’m loving, new tech, a whole bunch of new beauty treats, thoughts on books and films I’ve been enjoying recently.

Demi is back. And, hopefully, she’s here to stay again. xo.

In which Demi is absent and tries to sort her life out... again.

So I suck at blogging. Again. Do I have an excuse? Not especcially. I got a job (not in PR, unfortunately, but it's enough to tide me over for now), and lazy, and quite frankly my social life has dried up into a small puddle of couple of guy friends who are all at varying stages of uselessness. Gotta love graduate life.

Here's a quick run-down of what's been happening:

I went all nerdy. I played this game for the 7th, perhaps 8th time, through and fell in love with it and the characters all over again. It's such an underrated RPG, even if the graphics are very dated now.

Source

And as a result of this gaming, I'm re-obsessed with the SSX snowboarding series, because I want to be skiing now.

I made a trip back down to Nottingham a few weeks ago for a friend's birthday. And it was SO much fun. I got to see all my housemates, other friends I hadn't seen in ages, and even my lovely summer boy, which unfortunately didn't work out, but it was still great to see him and catch up.

The 'Nottingham Lean'!

My darling Elf has disappeared abroad to Austria and live her daydream (I'd say her dream dream, but I'm not even sure if she knows what that is!) of being a ski instructor. I'm counting down the days until she comes home for a quick pre-Christmas break before her season gets into full swing.

I'm listening to Taylor Swift's new album Red constantly.

I've been reading a fair bit! Finally, something productive! I finished The Hobbit in time for the film's release. I had previously attempted the novel when I was about ten and got so bored with the tedious tale that I gave up just as they got to the bloody mountain and met the dragon. Years later, I'm now a massive fan of the Lord of the Rings films (not so much the books - The Fellowship was fine, but the isolated storylines of The Two Towers drove me mad and I gave up) and can't wait for the film of The Hobbit. So I figured I should give the book another, proper, go.

It's still stupid. I still thought it was tedious. And finding out what happened after I had stopped reading before only made me angry. The dwarves can't bang on about killing the bloody dragon all the way through the book and then it not be killed by them! Some man shot it instead? Great. How handy. And stupid. When I saw the turn towards war at the end of the book I decided to withhold my anger, hoping that a more satisfactory conclusion was coming. Wrong. He glosses over the massive, culminating battle by knocking Bilbo out for most of it. What an ending. Talk about anti-climatic...

I also gave Me Before You a go after being lent it by A. I'd heard good things about it, and knew it had been on Richard and Judy's summer booklist (my mum's favourite way to check if a novel is alright, but not pretentious). Although massively predictable, it was funny and touching. Although I definitely didn't cry, unlike some people *cough* A....

Film-wise, there has been a fair few new ones, such as Crazy, Stupid, Love which I LOVED. Totally did not see the twist coming, and I'm a big fan of Steve Carell, Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling (marry me?) Then during my Nottingham trip I watched Midnight in Paris (weird) and The Amazing Spiderman (mixed feelings. Loved the cast and performances, not sure about the plot/script in some places). I caught The Dark Knight Rises in the cinema twice, as I am an unashamed nerd, and thought it was amazing, and even (despite Heath Ledger's incredible performance) better than The Dark Knight. I also got my Bond on with Skyfall, which I thought was absolutely brilliant - Sam Mendes has saved that brand single-handedly as far as I'm concerned, although the performances and script were also fantastic.

Through a swapsie-esque film session with one of the boys, I made him watch The Hunger Games (which maybe wasn't quiiiite as good as I remembered, but still pretty damn good) while he introduced me to Bronson. It's one of his favourite films, and while Tom Hardy does an incredible job, I didn't really get the big deal. Definitely style over substance for me. And I may have slightly spoilt the film for him too.... ooops. And finally, on Wednesday I finally got around to seeing Silver Linings Playbook. I'd been looking forward to seeing it for months, and I was slightly disappointed that most of the best lines had been used in the trailers (I hate it when they do that!) and that Jennifer Lawrence's character was perhaps less developed than I would have liked. But Bradley Cooper, considering I'm not a massive fan of his, really impressed me. And I think the film does a great job of showing how people are struggling with mental illnesses as part of their everyday lives - even when they're not aware of it - but that it doesn't, in any way, have to define you. With two siblings with mental disorders, I found it a pretty interesting representation.

And I've been watching a lot of Grey's Anatomy. From the start, because it's funny to go back to the beginning when you're watching series 8 and 9 and things have changed so much. An episode a night is all I'm allowing myself.

Now I'm going to crawl into bed after a long, busy day at work, with my current read and a cup of tea. By the way, The Lies of Locke Lamora is bloody brilliant if you like Pirates of the Caribbean, fantasy, kick-ass characters, twisty plots - or all of the above.

That's all for now folks. Things should be picking up soon with things to do and people to see, so hopefully my writing mojo will come along for the ride. xo.

In which Demi has slept all day and now can't sleep.

Since my current illness rendered me unconcious for the majority of the afternoon, followed by a slobby evening of Sex and the City with the housemates since our going-out plans were scuppered by said illness, I am now feeling both groggy and unable to sleep. Fabulous.

No better time to blog, clearly!

[I do feel quite bad actually, since my updates this term have been sporadic at best.]

So, what's been happening in the world of Demi? A lot of my time has been devoted recently to my role as PR rep for our Uni magazine. Pretty much as soon as my essays were handed in my attention was directed at selling as many tickets for our first launch party of the year as possible. The very first issue of the year was assembled over the summer holiday, so this was a chance for the new contributors, as well as the editors, to celebrate putting together an issue together.

Nikki, my co-manager, and I eventually settled on what most people agree to be the best cocktail bar in Nottingham, Coco Tang, as our venue. If you're ever in Nottingham, I would DEFINITELY reccommend a drink there. Their unique cocktail recipes range from tasty treats, such as the Haribo and Krispy Creme inspired recipes (the Toblerone is to die for - including a little chunk of the sweet itself balanced on the glass edge!), to delightfully whimsical sippers such as a Dirty Cinderella and the gorgeous Cherry Blossom Martini - all served in a super sexy underground bar reminiscent of the prohibition era.

Evidence that I need to start working out again!! But my stomach aside, I think this is a cute photo of me and my co-manager :)

A couple of hiccups aside, the night seemed to be a success, with lots of people from the mag thanking me for such a good night, which made me feel a lot better. Next up: distribution of the latest issue. Submitted to the printers a week behind schedule, we're now getting sliiiightly antsy, after some of the pages had to be re-printed following an ink bleed. Our posters, proclaiming the new issue to be out the end of November, are now essentially worthless, as we are STILL waiting on the delivery, and people are starting to ask where it is, and whether they've missed it. Not good. We'll just have to be totally on.it. when the issue finally gets delivered.

I'm also starting to worry about graduate applications for PR. To London or not to London seems to be the main question, followed swiftly by to go travelling next year or to put it off for a bit, and wait until I have some more experience. I've got a while to think about it, and sift through which cases make the most sense. Also, freaking out somewhat at the weird creative questions they're throwing into the applications: Describe yourself in rhyming couplets. What would the title of your autobiography be? Apple, hero or villain? - discuss. WHAT?!

Next problem jostling for attention in my head is our latest release of essay questions, due in January. While that might seem forever away, I've had two years of experience now as to how little work I manage to achieve over Christmas, what with everything that goes on. See this post for evidence of my essay misery from last year. The bad news is that I have even more words this Christmas than I did last year - 10,000 words compared to last year's 8,000, but at least I have no exams to revise for.

SO, my master plan is to have all of my reading and planning done before I leave for Christmas, and to have at least started one of them. Fingers crossed it'll all go according to plan. I get the results from my mid-term essays this week, and I am preeeeetty terrified, as my Arthurian Literature essay was shoddy at best. I felt like emailing my tutor and apologising, because it's such a bad representation of what I know and enjoy about the module! Gahhhh.

So, essays at the forefront, yes? Not quite, since I still have two weeks of reading to finish up as well. I've really loved my modules this term, especcially my Post-Millennial literature module, where we've looked at the effects of 9/11 on literature, at genre cross-overs, at style experimentations - and all of it written in a fresh, modern prose a million miles away from stuffy 19th Century writing. Yeahhhhhh post-modernism. I've absolutely loved reading What I Loved by Siri Hustvedt recently. Something about it really stuck with me, and I'd thoroughly reccommend it.

I've also had a mini book-swap with an English Studies friend of mine, where we've swapped short stories that are both, coincidentally, being adapted for films in the coming year. I received The Woman in Black, which I've already heard terrified reviews of. My friend A. refused to return to the second half of the play, having been too freaked out in the first half. I'm not good with scary films, and I'm not sure I've ever really read a scary book, so this should be... interesting. I gave her The Great Gatsby, which is pretty much my favourite book ever :)

In film news, we've signed up for a trial of Love Film, so hopefully we'll get to keep on top of seeing all the films we want to watch! I recently caught London Boulevard on my laptop version of Sky Movies the other day as well, which I surprisingly loved. I thought the dialogue was sharp and witty, the characterisation excellent, and that it was much more than your standard London gangster film. ALSO, I had no idea how amazing Colin Farrell was at accents! I think I've fallen a little bit in lust with him. Weird, I'm like 10 years later than everyone else, right?

I think it's the eyebrows that does it...?
Source: http://magiclanternfilm.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/farrell.jpg

Next up, to 'lull' me to sleep, is The Fighter, which I managed to miss in the cinema. Hopefully I haven't overly built up my expectations, like I did with Black Swan.

Off-loading over... Have a good weekend everyone :) xo.

In which Demi sets her alarm clock again.

Back to my original Leeds PR placement for two more weeks. I had absolutely no sleep last night, probably because I was terrified I'd sleep in til 12 like I have been doing and miss my 8.45am bus. At least my hours aren't bad; 10-5.30ish, with an hour for lunch.

Spent my lunch hour desperately running around the department stores in town in search of a make-up primer replacement. I've used a Philosophy primer for about 5 years and it's suited my skin well, but I've realised that they've stopped making it and I can't get it anywhere!! Cue my frantic search before the true nature of my skin is revealed, wahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Just kidding. Sort of.

In other beauty-related news, Garnier's new BB Cream was a total let-down, and my hair has grown far faster than expected and is now almost waist-length. Guess I'm gonna have to shell out on a non-student-priced cut down at our local over-priced salon... Boo.

Hair up and out of the way = happy Demi

Gahhhhhhhh too much hair!

In less than a month I will be back in Nottingham!! Wahhhhhhhhhhh, SO EXCITED. This summer has gone crazy fast, and I don't even feel that relaxed! What with crazy builders and working more weeks than I've had off, it's a good job that I have few hours next year.

...Too few to be honest. My course is stupid value for money. This year I'll be taught only 6 hours a week. For 3 and a half grand. Now I'm no mathematician, but even I can tell that that's BAD.

This past week I caught up with my gay best friend who isn't gay, but might as well be. Case in point, he had Tangled all set up for us to watch before I even got there. "I got us the new Disney, I heard it's really good!" Ahhh, there are so many reasons for me to love that boy!

I also had a lovely catch-up with my crazy high-flying lawyer gal S., who me and A. went to visit in Cambridge in this post. She's just finished an internship at one of the 'magic circle' law firms in London. Not that I could name them, but we're talking the big guns, I know that much. I'll let her charge on ahead, with her 4hrs sleep a night and ridiculous amounts of stress and work, while I bob behind her steadily.

Thennnnnn our family Bank Holiday plans were scuppered as my Dad got called off to Europe by his boss, as he is prone to do (with 24hrs notice half the time...). Sad times. So me, my little sister and Mum all sat and played an extremely competative game of Scrabble, followed by a movie fest with lots of treats. Perfect :)

I hope everyone's well! I'll try and update later this week to fill you guys in on how the placement goes. xo.

In which Demi has some time to be a slob, hurrah!

I'm still in my pajamas at 2pm. Yes, I am being a slob today. And yes, I love it. I intend not to get out of bed unless there is dire need. Such as hunger. Or until I go out with my friend tonight.

So after 2 weeks at my second PR company (it got reduced from 3 to 2), I have concluded:

• Corporate PR is dull. This company had a very different list of clients than the first, but they were more along the lines of investment banking groups, lawyers, estate agents and charities. Retail PR was much more up my street, where there are new products to push, and the industry and market is constantly changing. So while I didn't enjoy this placement as much as the last one, at least I know which field I prefer.
• PR is most definitely not the 9-5 job I assumed it would be. I was asked to go along and help at one of the many events they run in the evenings, and didn't get home until gone 9pm, having left the house at 7.55am. When do they have time for a social life??
• Building on the last point, I learnt the power of hobnobing and schmoozing. I had to greet the guests and guide them towards the host, get them drinks etc, and later mingled and tried to talk to as many people as possible. I got to talk to a corporate and personal stylist, the PR woman for the TV show Emmerdale, a presenter on BBC Radio Leeds, a local historian and two very cute twin guys a little older than me who were schmoozing in the hopes of landing a placement.
• I'm pretty good at writing press releases, as it turns out. All that writing practice and dreams of being an author seems to have paid off!
• I'm a 'tall poppy' according to the lovely stylist at the event. Don't ask.
• Long days mean eating a lot. I now understand why all the girls in the office eat salads for lunch. I've gained so much weight it's depressing. Time to crack out my Davina exercise DVD!

It's been a fantastic experience, and they were lovely enough to let me print off examples of all the press releases and work that I'd done to add to my portfolio. They all offered to write me a reference, and treated me to cakes and a pot plant on my last day :) I was more prepared this time and had bought a box of chocolates along to say thank you as well.

So, what's on the agenda now? R&R? Getting drunk? Lazing about in the sun? Well, as it turns out, no. And not just due to the horrible weather in the UK at the moment. I got a call from the 3rd company I applied to, way back in February, who had never responded to my email over Easter about going in for an interview. Lo and behold, they call me up in the middle of my second placement and ask to meet me to discuss going to work for them for a bit. Add that to my return to my first Leeds placement at the end of August, and I'm looking at working for more weeks than I'll be having off. Which I do appreciate, don't get me wrong. All this experience is absolutely invaluable. But considering I'm not getting paid for it, unlike my friends at accountancy/law etc firms, who are raking in thousands for their summer placements, I don't find it surprising that I'm a bit more reluctant. Ah well, it'll all be worth it!

...I hope! xo

In which Demi is behind schedule and apologises.

Wahhhh, note to self: NEVER promise to 'blog properly' the next day. Inevitably, a week will go by before you get the chance. I do apologise to anyone who has been waiting, patiently or impatiently.

...On that note, I will be posting later today! Honestly! As it is now almost 2am, and I am shattered after completing my second work experience placement. Yaaaaaaaaaay! So technically it will still be today (aka Saturday).

But it's sleep time now. I fully intend to sleep until midday. Last thoughts of the day: http://the-frenemy.com/post/7373467801/let-go

xo.

Source

In which Demi is elated. And exhausted.

One week and one placement down, another for 3 weeks to go.

Oh, and the first company asked for me to come back for more later in the summer. Guess I did something right.

....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVED IT!

Ahem. Dignified now.

It was exactly what I needed to get an insight into the day-to-day running of a PR office. I drafted press releases and wow sheets (basically visual press releases/posters, showcasing some new products under a snappy headline/blurb), I called a couple of journalists (terrifying! They had the numbers for every major publication in the UK! Everything from Vogue and Grazia to Home and Garden and The Times!), I e-mailed clients with information and journalists in search of certain products to fit their themed articles, I researched local activity groups who might be interested in a new GO Outdoors store opening (one of the clients), as well as a bunch of normal admin stuff like labelling 100+ lookbooks to be posted out and keeping the journalist and publishers database up to date.

And I loved it. Every minute of it. Even the really boring, simple tasks, which the girls in the office apologised profusely for making me do. I couldn't care less, I was learning either way. It's just the right balance between creativity and organisation for me - I feel like I'm too creative (and not good enough at maths...) for a plain marketing job, but neither do I have the abundance of ideas and off-the-wall thinking required for advertising.

PR is slap bang in the middle, just like I am.

The team was so lovely as well. It's only a very small Leeds office of a much larger London company, and they made sure to ask about me and keep me in the loop with what they were doing, while I asked as many questions as possible. At the end of the week I was stunned to be presented with a gorgeous bunch of flowers! And upon hearing that I was heading straight off to another placement this week, they asked me to get back in touch in August to see if I can go back for another couple of weeks. ME! AGAIN! Yeahhhhhhhh!

[On the downside, getting to work for 9am living where I live is a bloomin' nightmare. Hello 6.45am starts.]

weheartit.com

In which Demi has the jitters.

Fact: I suffer badly from nerves.

I was never one to be all pumped to go into an exam, bouncing about with adrenalin. Oh no, I'm the one sat in the corner, clutching my notes and reading over them feverishly while my face pales with each passing second. During my driving test I was so nervous I actually stopped breathing at one point, which my examiner had to point out in alarm.

And I start my first work experience placement in morning. So, naturally, I'm petrified already.

A lot of my fear stems from being a burden. I'm meant to be there to help out and learn in the process, but visions of me helplessly staring at a Mac (I know they use them. I, however, do not.) until I burst into tears keep apparating.

I know I'm being ridiculous. I know I'm not supposed to know anything just yet, and that this is the first hint of an incline on what is sure to be a massive learning curve. But it's different and real and important and I'm freaking out, as I am prone to do.

I'll update my progress in a couple of days. Until then, I will leave you with some shots of me and my friends merrily punting around Cambridge, and sipping cocktails at a College garden party (Woodstock themed, woooo yeah). I would thoroughly recommend a visit, if ever the opportunity arises; I was stunned by how beautiful it was, despite being told numerous times. However, my laid-back attitude jarred somewhat with the Cambridge student mindset of being super busy all the time, busy busy busy, now now now. Pfft, no thanks. I drive at my own pace. xo.

[I would like to add that I was in fact holding my camera-wielding friend's drink, not two of my own!]

In which Demi is getting ready for action!

I'm back home now until the end of September! Liquorice is happy to see me, I like to think.

I had a lovely send-off from Nottingham with numerous events; house parties, girls nights in and wild nights out. I also had the privilege of sharing a bed for two weeks with a friend who came to stay with us after having to move out of her own house early. Which meant a whole lot of laughter and not much sleep was to be had. All followed up with a short break to Cambridge with one of my best friends from home, A., to visit another old school friend - pictures of which will follow shortly.

As soon as I stepped through the front door though (alright, maybe not 'as soon as'. A cuppa and a catch-up with Mum was top priority), all thoughts snapped to my work experience, which will be happening over the next month. I'm determined to make the most of my fantastic opportunities, and I spent much of today sorting out bus passes, routes, emailing to confirm last minute details etc. I'm even putting myself through intensive early-waking training to make sure I can be up in time for work, after weeks of rolling out of bed at midday.

If PR turns out to not be for me, I will genuinely be stumped for possible future careers. I'm trusting my gut though, which reassures me that I'm making the right decision. I guess we'll see soon enough.

Until then, I'll be missing some amazing people, who helped to form another of the best years of my life ♥ xo.

My amazing housemates from this year ♥

In which Demi needs sleep. And more time. And more willpower.

Okay, postitive Demi has well and truly vanished. I'm now facing my biggest, most difficult and time-consuming essay. While it's my last one and only 3000 words, I'm seriously concerned I simply won't get it done in time, if this week's anything to go by. I've filled this past week with more events and friend catch-ups than I really should have, and both my work and accompanying motivation have seriously suffered.

Add to the fact that I'm gaining weight by the bucket-load (since my parents don't even think about buying tasty treats, whereas when it's my money I'm more restrained. But if they're there, I will eat them.), have dark bags both below AND above my eyes and have developed a confusing sickness whenever I've had a few sips of alcohol this holiday, probably down to exhaustion and an immune system which is running on empty... I'm so ready for this to be over.

Just think of summer. Just think of summer. Just think of summer.

And my (up-to) 7 weeks of unpaid 9-6pm work experience. Holy moley. xo

I need this right now SO BADLY.

In which Demi settles back in.

Back home now until the 4th May-ish. It's been lovely - freshly baked bread most days, cupboards over-flowing with yummy treats I would never normally let myself buy, cuppa-offers almost every hour and the chance to catch up with my family and friends at home. Of course it's not all happy days. For starters my mother is a maaaassive morning person, and will happily come in and open my curtains if I'm not up by 9.30. Yeowch. Slowly remembering how to get back to sleep in bright sunshine (it's a regular occurrence over summer).

Also now missing one tooth, after having it wrenched out by my lovely dentist to make room for a new one. Fabulous. Hel-lo gaping hole in my mouth. Thank God it wasn't closer to the front or there would have been no smiling from me, indefinitely. And that would be bad. Very bad.

Heading into Leeds for my chat/interview (how do you dress for something when you don't quite know what it is?!) with the London PR firm next Thursday, so I'll be brushing up on my past research in time for that. Fingers crossed it goes well.

One essay down, 8,500 more words to go... I consider this alright progress. I've slowed down a little since finishing it, which isn't good, since I wanted to have my second done by Monday/Tuesday but that's starting to look dubious. Lots of late nights are in order if I'm going to fill my days with seeing friends and lazing about with Sky+ (oh how I've missed you!).

Trying to stay calm and focused rather than panicky like I was over Christmas. 8,500 words in 27 days = 315.8 (to be precise) words a day, some of which will be taken up by researching and other stuff, but even so.... I can do this :)

I've got a bunch of songs which are being played repeatedly at the moment to aid inspiration:

I feel like dancin' - All Time Low - I am so bloomin' excited for their new album!
Setting Sun - Eskimo Joe - SO GOOD
Time Bomb - All Time Low
Hang You Up - Yellowcard
If Today Was Your Last Day - Nickelback
Don't Hold Your Breath - Nicole Sherzinger (I feel like I shouldn't like this, but it's so freaking catchy!)
I Do - Colbie Caillat
Wonderwall - covered by Cartel
I Pray Cruel - Furthest Drive Home - saw these guys live years ago and recently found this on Youtube after getting it stuck in my head.

Let the madness commence. xo.

In which Demi starts to panic... again.

Nonononononnononononnonono I was so sure I was on top of everything! I finished one essay 2 weeks early for God's sake!

Why did I do so veryvery little last week?!?!

Suddenly the end of term is looming. Not even on the far horizon, I'll be home in less than a week! And while part of me can't wait, the more sensible side is screaming, raging against the flimsy barriers I put up in my subconscious to drown it out, just for a little while. I worked hard, I deserve a little break, I said.

Fast forward a week and I'm facing 4 weeks and 11,000 words. Yoooooooooooou muppet. Anticipating many, many, many late nights. Gahh.

 Tonight's entertainment.

On the plus side, I now have 3 offers of summer work experience, including the big London-based firm I reallyreallyreally wanted to hear from. Just gotta get through the next 3 months first! xo

In which Demi can't stop smiling.

It's been a really great couple of days, and I have a big sappy grin on my face despite the fact I've just sat down and worked out how much we all owe on a batch of house bills which have all arrived at once. Ick, maths and bills. I also currently have exactly 10 windows or tabs open with extra critical reading for the essay I badly need to start. I worked out that even if I bash out 2 of my 5 essays before the Easter break, I'll still have 8,500 words to write over Easter. Guess I'll just have to stamp down on my procrastinating habits hard.

But, despite all that, I've had a great few days.

Yesterday I got to see two of my favourite bands ever (everever) live, and neither of them let me down. I've been waiting to see Yellowcard for something like 5 or 6 years now, and had all but given up hope that they would finish their indefinite hiatus and release new material. I didn't even dare hope to see them tour, but new material would have been a gift. Instead, I nearly died in shock and happiness to see that they had been booked as a support slot for All Time Low. They were fantastic, and I just wish more of the crowd had known of them and got a bit more into it. There was a very dedicated core sector in the centre, and oh how I wished I could join them in their mad dancing and jumping. For the billionth time I cursed myself for doing that stupid ski jump years ago that left my knee damaged and unable to cope with mad bouncing, or even sitting in a cinema or on a plane for too long.

All Time Low were the best I've ever seen them as well; having seen them in a support slot and as one of the many rushed slots at Leeds Fest 2 years ago, I loved to see them play a whole range of their material and take some rests to chat and banter with the crowd and each other. I'm pretty sure I deafened one of my housemates during their set I was singing so loud. Seeing Alex performing Remembering Sunday and catching his pick at the end (well, technically scooping it excitedly off the floor after it bounced off my chest and the shock wore off) made my day.

What makes these two bands stand out to me is a mixture of their lyrical talent and awesome guitar riffs. I'm a sucker for catchy riffs, and Yellowcard have some of the most intricate and rememberable riffs I know. They both have songs which literally pour out emotion; I felt a little choked up during Believe by Yellowcard, because it was wasted on much of the audience who had no idea it was written about the brave firefighters who lost their lives in 9/11. And Jasey Rae, Poison, Therapy, Painting Flowers, Remembering Sunday... there are too many of ATL's lyrical ability to list.

Today was lovely too. I got to catch up with one of my friends who I have drifted away from - both his fault and mine - and watch Beauty and the Beast with my housemates, like the childish girls we are (see the shrieking and wrestling that occured shortly before as one hid the phone of the other for proof...)

More importantly, I received an email from one of the companies I've queried about summer work experience. An acceptance. An affirmation that I am, in fact, worth trying out, taking a chance on. My first step into the real world of PR.

So with this random assortment of musings, I'll take my leave for bed. xo.

In which Demi dips her toe in the PR pool.

I've just sent off my first message regarding a potential PR internship or work experience over the summer to my ideal company. They're clearly very up-to-date, funky and have an extremely impressive arrray of clients. Even better, it's actually a branch of a huge London firm that's opened 'oop North' in the last few years, much to my delight (as much as a London placement would be great, it would be far too expensive to get there, never mind stay there.) I'm a jittery mess; partly because I want to work there so much, and partly because it's my first steps into real adulthood, in the way that my 18th was more of a drunken stumble...

It's the first real stepping stone into a job post-University. The idea of being finished at University, shelving all of my books and essays and highlighters, and suiting up for work every day makes me simultaneously shiver with excitement and fear.

Excitement, because I really do, genuinely, think I would be great at PR.

Fear because graduation is the last boundary I must cross from 'youth' to 'adult'. And I can only hope that in 18 months or so I will feel slightly more prepared for that eventuality than I do right now.