In which Demi goes there and back again.

A belated happy 2014 everyone!

(...pauses for odd stares)

Ahem. I realise I am beyond late, but quite how we're nearly mid-February I'm not sure. Last time I blinked it was New Year, and I was stood in the wind and rain and cold as close to the South Bank as I could get (not very, since we got waylaid by a pub and had to make do with watching the fireworks through gaps in the London skyline).

Now I'm home, home home, back in the North, and my London life feels like a dream. August to the end of November, as well as a hefty chunk of January - gone in a flash. I had the busiest and best, best, best time, making new friends and reconnecting with a whole bunch of people from University. There was an immediate shift daan Saauff (that's 'down south' for those who don't understand my pretty accurate imitation of my dire southern accent) in September 2012, after graduation, but I was part of the second wave - people who, like me, had been figuring things out for a year, or had been tied up in a four year course.

Jumping in at the deep end, I stayed with a friend of mine for the first week while I checked out potential rooms, and ended up living in the quiet area of Raynes Park with three complete strangers, who turned out to be ridiculously nice. Bonus! For a city-phobe like myself it was perfect - a fast train route straight into Waterloo, enough shops in nearby Wimbledon and Kingston for me to spend my non-existant income, and my best friend close enough for after-work visits. Yes, my darling Elf made the jump down in the September, and together we explored Clapham (Infernos and Aquum owe me some of my dignity), ate incredible food in Balham (and most other places actually) and spent a ridiculously fun afternoon meeting one of my writing heroes in Kensington at a film and comic convention.

Oh Aquum...

My adoptive southern family

Elf (R), her friend Natalie (L) and myself

My adorable little Raynes Park room

A family trip to Kew Gardens in the summer, when my parents brought down (more of) my stuff

Yes, yes he does. One of my favourite PR stunts, I moved down only a couple of weeks after Murray's historic Wimbledon win, to find that the local Morrisons had replaced their name to acknowledge his achievement.

I couch-surfed for longer than I probably should have in January - it's a good job Elf's housemates have practically adopted me at this point - until I had to realise that my drained bank account spelled out only one thing: H-O-M-E-T-I-M-E.

So with two more solid PR placements under my belt, I must admit I was disappointed to leave London empty-handed in terms of a job. A couple of near misses and several 'let's keep in touch' open endings have me furiously applying while supplementing myself with freelance work for my first placement.

[FYI, if you're interested in beauty and want to get some amazing behind-the-scenes interviews with top make-up artists, from Bourjois and Bobbi Brown to the legend behind The Lord of the Rings (I genuinely nearly died of excitement when he wrote back to me), then check out Warpaint, which I write for!]

SO, while I recalibrate myself and dust off the ol' blog (and journal, and writing notebooks - they've all been in a drought too), I'll leave you with a couple of songs which are currently being repeatedly blasted from my room, much to my family's frustration joy.

They've missed me really. xo.

'Can't Remember to Forget You' - Shakira ft. Rihanna. Two of the sexiest ladies on the planet, and two of my favourite female vocalists. Joy!

'SuperLove' - Charli XCX. Bubblegum pop perfection.

'Girls' - The 1975. I caught these guys at Dot to Dot Festival last spring, and they were amazing, even though they were suffering with sound tech problems.

'Happy' - Pharrell Williams. Because who doesn't love this song?

In which Demi shares her Spring songs

There finally seems to be light at the end of the tunnel - this winter has dragged on, and on, and on. We've had torrential rain, crop and animal-killing late snow, ferocious icy winds, the lot. And I for one cannot wait until summer. Normally I quite enjoy the variety of seasons; by the end of summer I'm looking forward to wearing more layers and snuggling down into winter (if I could hibernate, I would do). And when everything starts to re-emerge for spring, I get very excited at the idea of long days, sunglasses and summer dresses.

Except that the normal changing-seasons thing hasn't really happened this year. It is only now, at mid-April, that we're starting to see mere hints of spring. But they are (finally) here. My mum is a garden designer, and she's suddenly spending all available hours in our garden getting it ready, and racking up new clients who have similar ideas. The clocks have gone forward, I'm having to drive to work with my sunglasses on because of the sun, and I haven't had to put my headlights on in nearly a week.

Source

So, while I may not be able to change my outfits to match how I'm feeling (I am so, so sick of wearing jumpers now...) I have been changing up my music to reflect my new brightness. Spring-ness, if you will. Here's a quick run-down of the music I've been loving recently.

Paramore - Paramore

I'm loving Paramore's new self-titled album a whoooole lot. I used to listen to their album Riot religiously when I was deep in my pop-punk phase, which has died off over the last few years. But this song, 'Still Into You', had me hooked from the first time I heard it. And since listening to the album on Deezer, I'm seriously impressed. It sounds inherently Paramore, but different - they've been daring and inventive, trying out all sorts of styles. The hurt they felt from two of their members leaving feeds the fire of this album, spurring them on to new, and better, things. This is developed, matured, confident pop-punk at its best.

Highlights: 'Ain't It Fun', 'Part II', 'Hate To See Your Heart Break' and the two singles, 'Now' and 'Still Into You.'

Hurts - Exile

 
Ahhh Hurts. I've spoken of my love for this band before, back in January last year (here and here). Their new album is a tale of two halves for me - I adore the first half, but will happily skip a lot of the second half to return to the uninterrupted brilliance of the first seven or eight tracks. They apparently wrote this album on the guitar, as opposed to the piano they used for their first album, and you can tell. It feels current, yet nostalgic; major love. The CD is in my car to stay I think.

I bought tickets for Elf and I to go see them on their opening night of their autumn tour. I AM TOO EXCITED! October seems so very far away....

Highlights: 'Miracle', 'Blind', 'Only You', 'Exile', 'Sandman' and 'Somebody To Die For.'


The Neighbourhood - Sweater Weather (single)

My song choice for spring. It makes me think of warm nights, sunglasses, sand between my toes, fizzy drinks, flirting, giddiness. I absolutely love it. These guys are going to be huge. Since I started listening to them a few months ago, I've started to see adverts for their album pop up on Youtube and this song play in shops - the take-over has begun!

Tegan and Sara - Heartthrob

I'd heard of Tegan and Sara before, but I wasn't a huge fan of their alternative rock/punk style. Their new album is distinctly more pop-y, and very easy on the ears. I much prefer this new style, although I know people who will claim the complete opposite.

The Pierces - You'll Be Mine (single)

Last year's summer song is now forever ingrained into me as a herald for warm days. I'm coupling this with Haim - Falling, because they're similarly vibed and infinitely chilled songs.

What are you listening to? I'd love to hear any recommendations! Happy listening xo.

In which Demi shares some things which are making her smile right now.

One: My birthday necklace from my grandparents and parents. For my 21st, I wanted to buy a nice, everyday solid gold necklace. I have plenty in silver, and plenty in fake gold, but no solid gold necklace. However, it took me three months to pick one! I finally settled on a pair of interlocking gold rings, on a delicate double chain from Pia. I absolutely love it, and am so happy I took the time to shop around to find something I really love. Due to its similarity to the symbol for infinity, I may even have it inscribed with the 'I feel infinite' quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I like the idea of self-perpetuation, and always moving forward; it's a good message to carry with me, as it's all too easy to get somewhat complacent.

Two: The prospect of my room being redecorated! It's majorly tatty right now, with exposed floorboards and sawn-off windowsills still remaining after my french windows were installed last summer. I've started looking at bedding, furniture and wallpaper to fit into my art deco/french boudoir theme. Sophisticated bedroom, here I come! Plush, silky pillows, mirrors and sleek white furniture, against a palette of champagne, duck-egg blue and lavender. Too excited!

I also can't wait to be able to hang up my birthday present from my homegirls; they bought me the most beautiful print, which will fit in with my new room perfectly!

'Hang On' by Fiona Watson

Now I'm not really one who is normally into art, but I (rather embarrassingly) started crying when I opened this up. It's absolutely beautiful - whimsical, romantic, and very quixotic. Everyone who has seen it has said "That's so you!", which I guess is why they chose it for me. I want her print of 'The Poet's Garden' to match.

Source

Three: I forgot a very, VERY important inclusion into my beauty post! My Nars Velvet Gloss Lip Pencil, in the Baroque shade.

Source

This, for me, is what all lip products should be like. Saturated colour, smooth application, lasts for hours... Perfection! The only problem is sharpening it; the gloss isn't strong enough to endure a sharpener particularly well, so you end up with a sort of mushed nib after a while.

Four: Music! Currently loving Ella Henderson on the X Factor (she's incredible, she HAS to win!), All Time Low's new album 'Don't Panic' and the lovely Taylor Swift.

Five: Funtimes with my beloved Elf, before she jets off to Austria for six months to try her hand as a ski instructor. After three years of our university holidays never quite matching up, I am LOVING being able to see her all the time. We're hanging out most days of the week - either just to bum around on the wii, go for lunch, or head to the gym together. I'm trying to see her as much as possible before she leaves at the beginning of November - she'll be gone until April! Wahhhhh.

♥

And finally...

I LOVE THIS. Because I'm a big LotR nerd, and proud. Enjoy! xo.

 

In which Demi is basically her own worst enemy...

So it's 3am here, and I've settled down for the long haul to get half of my first essay written. Today didn't quite go as planned; an accidental lie-in was a bad start (sort of. I enjoyed it really), before I, along with my sister and mum, spent about 3 hours longer than planned shopping for outfits for my cousin's wedding in June.

[We didn't even end up with anything for me, which was mostly the point as the other two have their dresses already. Bad times.]

Then, when I finally did settle down to work, I sent myself careening off course and topic in my essay, which I'm only just rectifying now.

It's one of those annoying essays where I can reduce the 3500 word count, quite easily, down into one word to answer the question: No. I hope my tutor's prepared for 3499 words of waffle as a result.
At least I've got Liquorice here to keep me company. Not that he's being particularly useful...

My new song discovery, along with M83's album (thanks J.!), is keeping me motivated though, along with crispy Italian breadsticks, tea and a delicious raspberry and lemonade 'cooler'. The song is by Aidan Grimshaw, who was my one of my favourite contestants on the X Factor a couple of years ago, and while I'm surprised by the style of music he's adopted, I'm also loving it. Check out Aidan's soon-to-be-released single here. xo.

In which Demi shares her current favourites

First and foremost, Happy Easter to everyone :)

So after having a quick rifle through past blog entries, it seems to be quite customary for me, when doing essays at home, to post some songs which unintentionally form a work playlist for that period. Over Christmas it was Hurts and One Republic. This time, I can already tell it's going to be The All American Reject's latest offering, 'Kids in the Street'. I am a maaaaassive fan, and while it is by far my least favourite of their albums, it's still got some gems on there.

'Beekeeper's Daughter'

'Heartbeat Slowing Down'

I predict that a medley of AAR tunes will form the basis of my playlist. My Hurts love is still going strong, so they'll be in there too, along with Carrie Underwood and Lady Antebellum from my jaunt into country music.

'Cowboy Casanova'

'We Owned the Night'

Films-wise, I've been spoilt. From re-watching olders ones I loved which have recently made it onto Sky Movies (No Strings Attached, Love and Other Drugs, Water for Elephants) to films I never got around to seeing (Thor, American Beauty) and new releases in the cinema (hello The Hunger Games ♥ SO glad the film was an accurate representation of the book!).

Quick shout out to Chris Hemsworth for having a body that literally made me and my sister gasp, at the sheer size of his muscles. Which made our brother roll his eyes and sprout about how ridiculous we are. [It's probably true...]

Had a lovely meal to end the term with the housemates, and it's been great to catch up with a bunch of my friends back home as well. Spent yesterday with my grandparents, having family time. I'd missed them way too much. We're all still at the 'spontaneous hugs' stage, even though I've been back over a week, we've all missed each other so much. Even my usually anti-social older brother!

As for my visitor at the end of last term... lets just say they've got a lot of making up to do.

So for now, I'm grudgingly making a start on my Easter work, although as it's Easter Sunday I'm taking it easy and just doing reading/research. 11,500 words to go, bring it on! But first, chocolate and Northern Lights by Philip Pullman.... it's research, honest! xo.

In which Demi constantly seems two steps behind life.

I'm feeling really sluggish at the moment. I'm even thinking slow. Ideas are taking longer to process, I'm lacking in motivation and energy, and my to-do list is growing longer by the day.

I need to pull myself together, as we're now in the third week of teaching and I have an essay due on the 1st March. Which, at 1a.m. after a day of procrastination, I've decided is now going to be planned. I really am my own worst enemy sometimes.

New musical obsession is Eskimo Joe's new album, 'Ghosts of the Past', which is excellent. I'm in love with his husky voice. My favourite track is Words of Avoidance:

I'm also super DUPER excited at the prospect of seeing what is pretty much the formative band of my teenage years, The All-American Rejects, supporting Blink 182 the day before my Graduation in the summer... If I could get my act together and book the bloomin' tickets that is! Also seriously excited at the prospect of their new album, as their last offering ('When the World Comes Down') was pretty awesome (but not as awesome as Move Along... even if it does feature one of my favourite songs everever on it.)

Seeing AAR perform 'Another Heart Calls' and 'Dance Inside' would pretty much make my year/life. Fingers crossed they play them.

Excited at the prospect of seeing The Descendents next week as well, as I've heard it's Clooney's best work yet, and who doesn't love a bit of Clooney? Wish I'd got to see The Ides of March earlier this year. Also on my must-see list at the moment are Like Crazy, The Vow (I'm a sucker for cheesy romances) and The Hunger Games, which I'm hopinghopinghoping will do the book justice. My sister and I are big fans of the book, so I promised I'd take her to see it in the Easter holidays.

Also to look forward to are the first housemate's birthday, and her party at home, a trip with A. to see O. in Liverpool and the first magazine social of the year, which is going to be LaserQuest, and sure to be hilarious.

...Maybe I should stop looking forward to so many things, and concentrate more on the present. xo.

In which Demi is starting to feel like a new person.

After the heart-break of editing down what I think might be the best essay I've ever written, the stress of realising I had 700 words left for my Arthurian essay when I needed at least 1000, and the tediousness of checking, checking and triple checking, all three essays were handed in on Thursday. At 10% each of my final degree mark, it's little wonder I went a bit cuckoo. But I wasn't expecting the full extent of the stress I'd put myself under, which revealed itself in the following days. I've lost about 6 pounds in those two weeks, from sheer stress, weird sleeping times, and a churny stomach which sent my appetite AWOL. It's slowly returning, but nausea still grips me when I eat lunch, and I'm wracked with dizzy spells and an emerging cold as my adrenaline slowly dissipates, revealing my crippled immune system.

Luckily I'm confident that I'll be in much better shape for my final essays in Easter, even though I'll have more words. It's always the madness of Christmas that distracts me - the family, the films on TV, the food, the friends. With these distractions gone, I have more faith in my ability to get them done to a decent standard and not make myself ill.

It was so lovely to see my housemates and friends down the road, even if it was for less than 24hrs. It's made me want to go back, but I'm glad I took the opportunity to come back home for an extra week, for some R&R, while everyone else finishes up their exams. I've spent a lot of time with my family - watching films, playing on the Wii, visiting my grandparents in their new house. We're making a collective effort to sqeeze every second of family time out of this short period where both Dad and I are not away. I've got shopping tomorrow to look forward to, with my mum and sister, and final friend catch-ups on Tuesday, before I head back down for my final ever term at University. I can't quite believe it yet.

I've been very bad and abandoning my course reading for this term (currently Alan Sillitoe's Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, which is bizarre to read, as it's set in Nottingham in the 50's. The narrator is casually mentioning roads which I walk up and down all the time, yet are very different - filled with factories and smoggy terraces) in order to indulge my love of fantasy with S.J. Maas's new novella, The Assassin and the Pirate Lord. It's the first of four e-novellas to precede her debut novel Throne of Glass, an epic fantasy loosely based on Cinderella. I read Throne of Glass in its original incarnation (then called Queen of Glass) when I was about 16, on Fictionpress.com, a site for amateur authors.

It was a sensation, pulling in about 3 times as many reviews as the second most popular story. Even now, she has regular readers who have followed her since Fictionpress, like me, on her blog, or her Facebook page, flapping about excitedly at the prospect of reading the real, edited, published version. She's a lovely, lovely girl, who always replies to comments or questions, and to say that I was excited to have a conversation with her on Facebook chat is an understatement. She pretty much single-handedly sparked my interest in fantasy novels, and I am literally counting down the days until the book is released in the summer. I'm only on Chapter Three, but I'm already hooked. 

She's getting published by BLOOMSBURY, which should tell you how awesome she is. Picture Source

I've also been taking full advantage of having Sky Movies here at home, and been catching up on a whole host of films I missed out on seeing for one reason or the other. While Never Let Me Go was a bit of a let-down (as was the book), I loved The Adjustment Bureau with Matt Damon and Emily Blunt. Even if the concept was a bit wacky, I thought the cinematography, score and acting pulled it off.

And to finish off this post, some more Hurts (sorry! Obsessed!). Every time I think I've found a favourite song from the album, I start to fall more in love with another one. But I keep boomeranging back to this one, mostly because Kylie's addition makes my hair stand on end (in a good way). That, and I have a real urge to play this to a handful of boys, to shake them up a bit and make them see sense. After this, no more Hurts promo, I promise. xo.

In which Demi says, very simply...

I don't want to write this essay. I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.I don't want to write this essay.

I really really don't. Sorry Arthur, I don't think you're the best king in the world. End of. Unfortunately, my tutor wants 3500 words on the subject.

To distract myself, I keep staring at my fingertips (yes I am that easily distracted), which are currently covered in my lovely Nails Inc.'s Magnetic Nail Polish from Christmas. I'm currently sporting Trafalgar Square, a deep chrome, but my favourite has to be Houses of Parliament, a lovely deep purple. Unfortunately Big Ben, a bright brassy gold, didn't work very well, but that's okay because the other two are gorgeous, and came with a super glossy top coat in a big bundle. If you haven't seen or heard of the magnetic nail polish trend, feast your eyes on its coolness:

Sorry it's so messy. I was so excited to try it that all technique went out the window.

People who know me know that I'm big on nails, so my mum apparently bagged these months ago in excitement for Christmas. And with good reason, look how cool it is! The magnet in the cap of the polish pulls all of these microscopic metal particles in the polish into this awesome pattern, which shifts as the light changes. Depending on how you position the magnet, the pattern changes. LOVE IT.

And to motivate myself through these essays, I also bought two polishes from the indie brand a-England, which arrived the other day and are GORGEOUS. But I'm giving Trafalgar Square it's outing before I try them out. Once it chips, it's switcheroo time.

I can't wait to see my housemates on Wednesday, even if it is only for about 24hrs while I hand in my essays. It's been a long, stressful holiday, and I can't wait until we're all vegging out in companionable banter (there's never silence) and watching trash on the TV. Thank God for Take Me Out etc.

Back to the grindstone. 4 days. Then freedom, filled with films, tea, food which I am no longer able to stomach due to stress, and restful sleep. I had an irritating waking dream last night, which involved me searching desperately for some sort of technological gadget (which most certainly does not exist but I seemed to think did) at 5am, resulting in me ripping all of my bedding off in a harried attempt to find it. And then realise I was being stupid, and re-making my bed.

I'm turning into a fruit loop. Trying to motivate myself with my new kick-ass playlist, which features a lot of Hurts, which I know my dear Elf is happy about. I find the singer, Theo, to be strangely sexy... not quite sure what it is about him. He looks like someone my mum would have fancied in the 80's. Like mother, like daughter I guess. Half of it's probably his voice tbh. And the fact he's called Theo, which is one of my favourite boy's name. Happy weekend everyone xo.

I think it's the eyebrows. And the cheekbones. Maybe. (Source)

In which Demi is a little late to the Hurts party.

I'm meant to be furiously finishing off my second essay, which I am, but I had to quickly take some time to rave about how AWESOME the band Hurts are! How am I only just listening to them?? I watched the recent 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' episode with my lunch, which featured the singer Theo on Phill's pannel, so when I got back to work I thought I'd have a listen.

Since then, I must have listened to this song, in particular, about 50 times:

Amazinggggg. I'm only a year and a half late to the Hurts party. Ahh well.

Also, I watched the first episode of 'New Girl' last night when I took a break from writing, which I LOVED. Zooey's just so cute! Although I can't make my mind up on Schmidt, I think he'll start to grate on me.

Looking forward to treating myself to the absolute trash that is the new series of 'Playing it Straight' when I finish this (only 500 words left!!). I remember watching the last series, when I was about 16, and it was amazingggggg, I'm hoping this reboot will be as good. Such a weird concept for a show. And hopefully, tomorrow my celebratory nail polishes from a-England will arrive, to brighten my nails as I bash out my final essay.

9 days until hand-in. 4000 words to go. Ding ding ding - game on. xo.

In which Demi ushers in the New Year.

Source

 May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.

Neil Gaiman - Source

I hope everyone had a fabulous start to 2012! I went to a small but lovely house party and am now feeling decidedly worse for wear after celebrating from 8pm until 4am. Ahh well, if you can't do it on New Year's then when can you?

This holiday has been a very sleepy affair. Lots of food, films and family. My grandparents came and stayed with us, and it was lovely. After the passing of my Nana earlier this year, I was desperate to see them, in case anything terrible befell them. Life has the habit of surprising you.

I also had a very nice reunion with my homegirls, with a delicious meal and plenty of gossip. It's been a stressful term for all of us; there have been break-ups, house issues, fall-outs and sadness at Uni, so it was nice to have familiar ground under our feet and familiar faces in front of us. 

I've developed an obsession with having my hair curly/wavey recently, with the rediscovery of my SpinCurl hairdryer extension. So simple! This is what I wore for our catch-up.

Right now I'm having to knuckle down and finish off my first essay, so I can crack onto the next one tomorrow. I didn't really factor in such a raging hangover to my schedule... rookie error! It's even more difficult to concentrate than normal this year, with my brother receiving the new Zelda game on the Wii for Christmas. We are hard-core Zelda fans, and I'm constantly finding myself drifting into the living room to watch him soar among the clouds of the new game. Jealous! Luckily the syrupy smooth voice of Gabrielle Aplin is making my work easier. I predict we'll be hearing a lot more from her this year! She's too talented not to make it. 

Ghosts

The Liar and the Lighter

Thank you to Beth for posting about her on your tumblr! Instant love!

I have a good gut feeling about 2012. My gut feelings have never steered me wrong before, so here's hoping. I'm wishing for at least a 2:1, some form of job before the end of the year, lasting friendships, and maybe even a new boy on the scene. God knows I'm sick of drunken, regretful texts from my ex.

2012 will be my year. I'm sure of it. xo.

In which Demi is geeking it up.

Tonight's fun-filled activities? Reading criticism of the character of King Arthur, while trying not to lose the sensation in my fingertips. Nottingham has turned icy cold, along with the rest of the UK. At least we're not under a foot of snow, like this time last year.

It's hard to believe that there's only this week and next week left at Uni! Then one more semester, then THAT'S IT. Finito. Crazy times. I can tell I'm going to be running around like a mad hatter.

Today, the latest issue of the Uni magazine FINALLY arrived! We put our super duper PR helpers to work stocking the immediate buildings around campus, with the plans to spread out and cover everywhere by the end of the week. And what's that? The editors are calling for another social before the end of term? Erm.... we'll see....

Finally, I've been listening to a mixture of Lord of the Rings and Star Wars soundtracks to keep me focused on my work... only to be distracted by the gorgeousness of some of the songs. I was listening to this medley of The Fellowship of the Ring's soundtrack, and kept getting distracted by visualising what was happening in the film when the music was being used. I'm hopeless.

Also, would it be too ridiculously geeky to have the beginning of this featured in my wedding? I think the answer is yes, but I'm pretending it's not for now.

Yes, I am a massive geek for these two film franchises. So sue me :) xo.

In which Demi gets a wake-up call

Every so often, reality gets up and smacks me in the face and wakes me up. Today was one of those moments. My facebook snooping got me the answer I assumed, and yet I still reared back in shock.

The kind of shock that jolts you like a bucket of cold water, and makes you go 'Holy hell, look what you almost got messed up in.' Step away from the edge, sharpish.

So I've retreated, and something seems to have settled in place within me, and I think that's it. For now at least. Cutting off my attachments, slowly but surely. Until you can drift free completely.

I'm focusing on what I can control for now. I can't control other people, nor death, nor my feelings fully. So I'm focusing on things like my mid-terms essays (not flowing as easy as my plan and research would indicate, but when do they ever?) and rebuilding a bridge with a friend that I'd been prepared to burn. I guess that's what last chances are for.

Current work playlist:
Misery - Maroon 5
Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes ft. Adam Levine
We Found Love - Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris (me and my housemate have been singing this on repeat recently ♥)
Lets Kill Tonight, New Perspective and Ready To Go - Panic! at the Disco
I Won't Let You Go - James Morrison
Tron Soundtrack
Ed Sheeran's whole album.

Oh, and because I haven't posted any of the photos yet, here's a little taste of the chaos that ensued last Monday on the 7-legged Bar Crawl :) xo.

Our theme was 'Sins in the City', and we decided to do a twist on them all; as 'Pride', I decided to spice things up by going as Gay Pride, which basically involved a lot of bright clothes and some awesome make-up!

Sloth (literally), Gluttony and Wrath.

Wrath, Pride, Sloth, Gluttony and Envy

The whole bunch of us :)

The 'being attached' part didn't last very long this year...

♥

In which Demi hits repeat. A lot.

When I like a song or a band, you bloomin' well know about it if you live with me (sorry housemates!).

If the song's a good'un, I will have it on repeat until it is out of my head, for anything from a couple of hours to a couple of weeks. And the ones that are still stuck after that? Those are the ones I know I'll love forever.

I don't believe in aging music. I still regularly listen to songs from one of the first albums I ever put on my shiny new iPod at the age of fourteen (Rooster ♥). Hell, I sometimes listen to songs from my childhood. When I'm feeling homesick, I whap on a bit of A-Ha or Eurythmics, because they're what my mum used to listen to when she was cleaning the house when I was a kid. She had a certain CD that she always cleaned to, which kicked off with The Human League's 'Don't You Want Me'. 80's-tastic.

[In fact, there exists a video of a drunken me getting too excited in a bar when it was played, and proceeding to do a moonwalking/hoovering stumble of a dance. My mum would be so proud.]

My family are currently being subjected (in a good way!) to multiple repeats of 'The King and All of His Men' by Wolf Gang. It's more indie than I usually listen too, but it just seems perfectly suited to the muggy English summer weather of the moment.

Also on repeat recently is Maroon 5's 'Moves Like Jagger', which I love to jump and shimmy around to. I'm sure it's been entertaining the builders to no end.

 

And finally, a feel good summer tune by one of my girl crushes, Leighton Meester, 'Summer Girl'. I like to imagine that I'm driving along a winding country road, wearing a cowboy hat and some daisy dukes when I listen to it. Instead I'm more likely to be stuck in traffic, having to crank the air con up and down at a moment's notice thanks to this summer's schizophrenic weather.

 

Ahh well. Any summer song choices you'd like to share? xo.

In which Demi has some down time.

In my humble opinion, there is nothing better than home comforts. I've popped back up North for a few days to fully recharge my batteries after the hectic exam period. While there may not have been a big difference between doing very little at Uni and very little at home, once I got here I knew I'd made the right decision. Thanks go to my housemate Sugar at Girl, Introspective for pushing me into realising I needed to come back. Seeing my mum's face split into a massive grin as I staggered out of the coach station suddenly made the 2 and a half hr journey worth it. Splaying out on the sofa with my brother and sister watching a film together eclipsed watching a film alone in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. Bantering with my dad in person always triumphs over phone calls.

It's been a pretty rough year for my family, but to be able to have moments like these last few days reminds me of how simple and unconditional our love for each other is. And it's nice to remember that I don't have to play grown-up all the time.

On a side-note, thanks to my brother choosing the film, I am now in love with the Tron: Legacy soundtrack, which is composed entirely by Daft Punk. I'm not normally one to get really into movie soundtracks, but this one is absolutely brilliant. I have a feeling it will come in handy next year - I often find that I work best to instrumental music, or songs with few lyrics, so I'm not tempted to sing along. Pendulum's Immersion was my album of choice this year. If you haven't checked it out yet, I thoroughly recommend! xo.

I leave you with my adorable, if somewhat daft, cat Liquorice :)

In which Demi debates 'guilty pleasures'.

Is there such a thing? Personally, I don't think there is. I'm only wondering after some excited googling of All Time Low's new album, Dirty Work, which should be coming through my letterbox in just over a week.

To my dismay, the few early reviews haven't been the kindest. There's an overwhelming suggestion of (whisper it) selling out, now that they've scored an Interscope deal. Of trying too many new things. Of moving away from their older style. The "original" fans are clutching their copies of The Party Scene and So Wrong, It's Right, the two albums which slingshotted them onto the mainstream about four years ago, and sharpening their pitchforks to poke holes in the band's "new persona".

Okay, so they're not making exactly the same music anymore. But quite why people are bemoaning so much the more poppy, less punky element to their new releases is quite beyond me. Why people are begrudging the fact that they can imagine half the tracks being regulars on the radio is bizarre to me. Personally, and as a fan of the band from before their second album, I'm so proud of these guys. They've pushed through the swarm of similar other bands, toured like crazy, cultivated a great relationship with fans and a created a fantastic reputation just as a band of guys. Instead of bumming around as teenagers, these guys have been working hard at their music and touring since before they even graduated High School.

Personally, I can't see how that's a bad thing.

But they're not the 20 year olds they were when they wrote gems like Jasey Rae (absolutely gorgeous) and Six Feet Under the Stars and we should accept this. Instead, they are the more mature musicians who, in my opinion, are still producing some fantastic songs - and if they are inadvertantly reaching a wider audience, good for them. In fact, if I were to recommend new listeners to any of their songs, it would be Poison, from their last album, and Painting Flowers, which was written for the album to accompany Disney's new 'Alice in Wonderland'.

Yes, they've changed. Yes, it is a band that is beloved by tweens the world over. And at 19, I probably shouldn't like them as much as I do. But the fantastic thing about music is that we all have completely different tastes. Hence my belief that there is no such thing as a "guilty pleasure". I should probably call my All Time Low love a "guilty pleasure"... but why bother when I can guarentee that their music will be able to cheer me up? When they brighten up boring trips? When they are safe choices when I don't know what to listen to? They are - if absolutely nothing else - the perfect soundtrack to summer, to driving with the window open and the music blaring.

So I will happily play their new single until my housemates are sick of it, because it's definitely helping me wade through these last couple of days of revision. Briiiiiiiing it.

What's your 'not really a guilty pleasure'? xo.

In which Demi settles back in.

Back home now until the 4th May-ish. It's been lovely - freshly baked bread most days, cupboards over-flowing with yummy treats I would never normally let myself buy, cuppa-offers almost every hour and the chance to catch up with my family and friends at home. Of course it's not all happy days. For starters my mother is a maaaassive morning person, and will happily come in and open my curtains if I'm not up by 9.30. Yeowch. Slowly remembering how to get back to sleep in bright sunshine (it's a regular occurrence over summer).

Also now missing one tooth, after having it wrenched out by my lovely dentist to make room for a new one. Fabulous. Hel-lo gaping hole in my mouth. Thank God it wasn't closer to the front or there would have been no smiling from me, indefinitely. And that would be bad. Very bad.

Heading into Leeds for my chat/interview (how do you dress for something when you don't quite know what it is?!) with the London PR firm next Thursday, so I'll be brushing up on my past research in time for that. Fingers crossed it goes well.

One essay down, 8,500 more words to go... I consider this alright progress. I've slowed down a little since finishing it, which isn't good, since I wanted to have my second done by Monday/Tuesday but that's starting to look dubious. Lots of late nights are in order if I'm going to fill my days with seeing friends and lazing about with Sky+ (oh how I've missed you!).

Trying to stay calm and focused rather than panicky like I was over Christmas. 8,500 words in 27 days = 315.8 (to be precise) words a day, some of which will be taken up by researching and other stuff, but even so.... I can do this :)

I've got a bunch of songs which are being played repeatedly at the moment to aid inspiration:

I feel like dancin' - All Time Low - I am so bloomin' excited for their new album!
Setting Sun - Eskimo Joe - SO GOOD
Time Bomb - All Time Low
Hang You Up - Yellowcard
If Today Was Your Last Day - Nickelback
Don't Hold Your Breath - Nicole Sherzinger (I feel like I shouldn't like this, but it's so freaking catchy!)
I Do - Colbie Caillat
Wonderwall - covered by Cartel
I Pray Cruel - Furthest Drive Home - saw these guys live years ago and recently found this on Youtube after getting it stuck in my head.

Let the madness commence. xo.

In which Demi can't stop smiling.

It's been a really great couple of days, and I have a big sappy grin on my face despite the fact I've just sat down and worked out how much we all owe on a batch of house bills which have all arrived at once. Ick, maths and bills. I also currently have exactly 10 windows or tabs open with extra critical reading for the essay I badly need to start. I worked out that even if I bash out 2 of my 5 essays before the Easter break, I'll still have 8,500 words to write over Easter. Guess I'll just have to stamp down on my procrastinating habits hard.

But, despite all that, I've had a great few days.

Yesterday I got to see two of my favourite bands ever (everever) live, and neither of them let me down. I've been waiting to see Yellowcard for something like 5 or 6 years now, and had all but given up hope that they would finish their indefinite hiatus and release new material. I didn't even dare hope to see them tour, but new material would have been a gift. Instead, I nearly died in shock and happiness to see that they had been booked as a support slot for All Time Low. They were fantastic, and I just wish more of the crowd had known of them and got a bit more into it. There was a very dedicated core sector in the centre, and oh how I wished I could join them in their mad dancing and jumping. For the billionth time I cursed myself for doing that stupid ski jump years ago that left my knee damaged and unable to cope with mad bouncing, or even sitting in a cinema or on a plane for too long.

All Time Low were the best I've ever seen them as well; having seen them in a support slot and as one of the many rushed slots at Leeds Fest 2 years ago, I loved to see them play a whole range of their material and take some rests to chat and banter with the crowd and each other. I'm pretty sure I deafened one of my housemates during their set I was singing so loud. Seeing Alex performing Remembering Sunday and catching his pick at the end (well, technically scooping it excitedly off the floor after it bounced off my chest and the shock wore off) made my day.

What makes these two bands stand out to me is a mixture of their lyrical talent and awesome guitar riffs. I'm a sucker for catchy riffs, and Yellowcard have some of the most intricate and rememberable riffs I know. They both have songs which literally pour out emotion; I felt a little choked up during Believe by Yellowcard, because it was wasted on much of the audience who had no idea it was written about the brave firefighters who lost their lives in 9/11. And Jasey Rae, Poison, Therapy, Painting Flowers, Remembering Sunday... there are too many of ATL's lyrical ability to list.

Today was lovely too. I got to catch up with one of my friends who I have drifted away from - both his fault and mine - and watch Beauty and the Beast with my housemates, like the childish girls we are (see the shrieking and wrestling that occured shortly before as one hid the phone of the other for proof...)

More importantly, I received an email from one of the companies I've queried about summer work experience. An acceptance. An affirmation that I am, in fact, worth trying out, taking a chance on. My first step into the real world of PR.

So with this random assortment of musings, I'll take my leave for bed. xo.

In which Demi regresses. In a good way.

Cultivating a bordering-on-unhealthy love for Zachary Levi after seeing the awesomely amazing Tangled this weekend. Me and my friend sat absolutely enthalled, ocassionally squealing and grabbing one another's sleeve, whilst being shot confused looks by the mother sat beside us. I couldn't care less. Tangled made me fall in love with Disney again. It takes the best parts of the old Disney films - the magic, the singing, the slapstick - and mixes it with witty humour and graphics that literally left me speechless. The lantern scene was simply breath-taking.

Since then I've been listening to the soundtrack, watching hilarious interviews with the cast and listening to this gorgeous duet with Katherine McPhee pretty much on repeat.

Excited to go home this weekend and continue this childish feeling :) Sometimes it's easy to forget that really I'm still pretty young. I think I'm allowed to maintain childish fantasies every once in a while. Real life can wait a bit longer. xo.

In which Demi gives in to the inevitable.

Preeeeetty damn sure I am doomed to fail my last exam. Old English is far too similar to German, which reduced me to a gooey pile of desperation to understand and teeth-gnashing in High School. Also the fact that I am feeling far more creatively inclined than I have in a very long time, and I'm finding it hard to concentrate. Reading The God of Small Things for my Literature class, and Roy's narrative is compelling, foreign and exquisitely enticing. Enjoying it far more than my last read, The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks. Crazy man.

Currently checking out a host of new music. Sky Ferreira's on at the mo, pretty impressive voice, not sure about rememberability. Murray James' voice on the other hand was beautiful, if only he had more tracks (or even full ones) up online somewhere.

I need a cuppa, as always... xo.