In which Demi wants...

A bengal kitten. Yes please <3

And I'd quite like my tutors to be good this term. Especially my Nordic Nightmare of a tutor's replacement in Medieval Englishes. Guess I'll find out tomorrow.... sorry, make that today. xo.

Letter #5: Your Parents

30 LETTERS PROMPTS:
- Your Best Friend;
- Your Crush;
- Your Parents;
- Your Sibling (or closest relative);
- Your Dreams;
- A Stranger;
- Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush,
- Your Favorite Internet Friend;
- Someone You Wish You Could Meet;
- Someone You Don't Talk to as Much as You'd Like to;
- A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk To;
- The Person You Hate the Most/Caused You a Lot of Pain;
- Someone You Wish Could Forgive You;
- The Person You Miss the Most;
- Someone You've Drifted Away From;
- Someone That's Not in Your State/Country;
- Someone From Your Childhood;
- The Person That You Wish You Could Be;
- Someone That Pesters Your Mind - Good or Bad;
- The One That Broke Your Heart the Hardest;
- Someone You Judged by Their First Impression;
- Someone You Want to Give a Second Chance to;
- The Last Person You Kissed;
- The Person That Gave You Your Favorite Memory;
- The Person You Know That is Going Through the Worst of Times;
- The Last Person You Made a Pinky Promise to;
- The Friendliest Person You Knew For a Day;
- Someone That Changed Your Life;
- The Person That You Want to Tell Everything to, But Too Afraid to;
- Your Reflection in the Mirror.

~*~

Dear Mum & Dad,

I'm sure this will be a short letter because there is no real way to describe, in words at least, how much you both mean to me. Then again, I doubt I'd have much better luck in any other form of communication. Interpretative dance? Painting? Song? No chance.

Not only is the incredible bond I feel between us indescribable, it's also overwhelming. It's huge. If I were made up of puzzle pieces, each stamped with the name of a person who has shaped who I am today, I can guarentee your pieces would form the biggest part of me, by a long way.

Mum, I tell you everything. My friends find it bizarre, but the idea of keeping something from you makes me itch. We gossip, we chat nonsense, you keep me up to date with goings-on at home. I trust you more than anyone else on this earth, because I know that you know me better than anyone. You're my best friend, my advisor, my confidante, my amazing mother.

Dad, you are the person I aspire to be. It may seem lazy to aspire to be like someone so close to me... but I don't care. Because you would be an ideal role-model regardless. Through hard-work and determination (and a touch of control-freakishness which you bequeathed to me) you have carved out a life for yourself that is a world away from the situation you were born into. Yet you're always reminding me to have fun as well. To play as hard as I work, but not to be wasteful. And I know that no matter what problem or question that I have, you take the time to listen to me and give answering it a shot.

You balance each other perfectly, and have given me the stable, happy home life that many people dream of. A solid marriage of almost 25 years founded on mutual respect and love. I genuinely consider myself honoured to be the proud daughter of two such amazing people.

I love you both with all my heart, forever,

Your daughter xo.

In which Demi gives in to the inevitable.

Preeeeetty damn sure I am doomed to fail my last exam. Old English is far too similar to German, which reduced me to a gooey pile of desperation to understand and teeth-gnashing in High School. Also the fact that I am feeling far more creatively inclined than I have in a very long time, and I'm finding it hard to concentrate. Reading The God of Small Things for my Literature class, and Roy's narrative is compelling, foreign and exquisitely enticing. Enjoying it far more than my last read, The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks. Crazy man.

Currently checking out a host of new music. Sky Ferreira's on at the mo, pretty impressive voice, not sure about rememberability. Murray James' voice on the other hand was beautiful, if only he had more tracks (or even full ones) up online somewhere.

I need a cuppa, as always... xo.

In which Demi can breathe again.

All done. All 8000 words, done.

Now I just have to edit them all, bibliographies and print. Fab.

Back to Uni tomorrow :) I know I say this every term/year, but I really, REALLY do not want to be as unprepared and stressed as I was this holiday, and since I know ahead of time what my assessments are now, I can say:

I WILL WORK HARD THIS TERM. I WILL NOT GET INTO SUCH A STATE EVER AGAIN. EVER.

xo.

In which Demi is (or at least tries to be) mellower.

I've been stressing about a lot of things this holiday. Uni work, reading, writing, people, me.

Today... I'm going to push that aside and just do what I always used to do best.

Get on with the job.

xo.

In which Demi wonders

At what point in this year did Uni work go from interesting to the bane of my existance?

I had a meltdown before I'd even go out of bed today. My mum took pity on me and drew my curtains again. Dad came in and asked me how bad the situation would be if I just... didn't do my last essay?

Bad, Dad. Very bad, is the answer.

I emerged from my cocoon around 4pm, and have since armed myself with chocolate and tea to try again. An hour and a half later, I am yet to write a word.

Setting 8000 words, even over a 4 week period, with an extra 2 exams to revise for, is just asking for shoddy quality essays. It's inevitable. There is simply nothing left in me. No energy. No creativity. Nothing. I'm spent. And still 2000 words to go.

Easter will be interesting. 14,000 words worth of essays to keep me entertained.

I really wish someone would jump out and yell "punk'd" already... xo