In which Demi is about to fall asleep.

Sometimes I think we're not supposed to know how the world works. Despite our nanotechnology, our medical miracles, our leaps forward through time and space, sometimes I think we're not supposed to understand.

Sometimes I think that I could be a different person. Sometimes I think that I would always have boiled down to this, me. Sometimes I think my influence, my existance, means nothing, and sometimes it means everything.

Sometimes, we have to let go. And sometimes we need to realise we need to fight for it. It's the figuring out part that's hardest.

Sometimes, despite my fascination, I think I'll never learn enough about humans, and how we interact. And sometimes, despite our nanotechnology, our medical miracles, our leaps forward through time and space... sometimes I think we've never really changed.

[Pointless and ineloqant, I know. But my head feels fit to burst, and this is what escaped. Go figure. xo.]

In which Demi is sososo close to freedom!

Just proof-reading my final essay, and then I can breathe an almighty sigh of relief that all three of my mid-terms are completely finished. I am looking forward to sleeping for the majority of Saturday, to recover from what is sure to be a crazy night tomorrow. Bliss! Time to dust off my dancing shoes!

To distract myself from my essay (standard...), I've been drooling over these absolutely stunning photos by Kristian Schuller. I heartily recommend checking out his website for even more examples of gorgeousness. xo.

My new laptop background :)

 All pictures from http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/spectacular-fashion-fantasies, see the rest of Kristian's work here: http://www.kristianschuller.com/

In which Demi has cracked on.

Two essays down (sort of). One to go. Progress!

Yay, annotation!... Sending me cuckoo.

Everyone's getting cranky at this point in the term. Our social lives have shrivelled up into nothingness, and I can't even remember the last time I went out dancing. Next Friday's trip to the student club (haven) Ocean cannot come quick enough, once these essays have been polished off and handed in.

Me and two of my housemates took a break from tearing our hair out to watch some happy films tonight. First up was 'Saved!', a dreadful Christian high school comedy that was as hilarious as it was bad. Followed up by 'No Strings Attached', which is most definitely my favourite rom-com everever. If only for the sheer fact that it has Natalie Portman in it, cracking awesome jokes. Paired with Ashton Kutcher. Perfection.

That, plus fizzy strawberry laces, doughnuts and copious mugs of tea (surprise surprise) have put me in a much more positive frame of mind. And a sugar high.

Arthurian Literature, beware - Demi has her work hat on! xo.

In which Demi is Queen Procrastinator!

So in case you haven't noticed, I blog a lot more when I have work to do. Coincidence? I think not.

I am an expert at procrastination. Take this afternoon for example; I wrapped up last night at 2am on 1700ish words, with only 300ish left to write. Easy peasy. Yet after a leisurely lunch, instead of sitting down to tackle this, I've sat and watched 'What Women Want', which I have both seen before and don't even like!! Then I read The Times magazine. Now I've made a cup of tea, and blogging instead of wrapping up this bloomin' essay, which will probably only take me 15mins.

Part of my frustration stems from the fact that I could write at least double the word limit I've been set on this vague question. I've only written 3 out of 5 sections, and with 300 words left to go it's not looking good.

Meh. I've eaten all the yummy snacks too. Guess I'm out of distractions now. Unless I start looking for a new winter coat...

NO. Bad Demi. xo

PS. Totally unrelated, but I liked this and wanted to get it down before I forgot:

When he looked into her dark eyes, and saw that her lips were poised between a laugh and silence, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke – the language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love. Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert. - Paulo Coelho, 'The Alchemist' (via Quotebook)

In which Demi gets a wake-up call

Every so often, reality gets up and smacks me in the face and wakes me up. Today was one of those moments. My facebook snooping got me the answer I assumed, and yet I still reared back in shock.

The kind of shock that jolts you like a bucket of cold water, and makes you go 'Holy hell, look what you almost got messed up in.' Step away from the edge, sharpish.

So I've retreated, and something seems to have settled in place within me, and I think that's it. For now at least. Cutting off my attachments, slowly but surely. Until you can drift free completely.

I'm focusing on what I can control for now. I can't control other people, nor death, nor my feelings fully. So I'm focusing on things like my mid-terms essays (not flowing as easy as my plan and research would indicate, but when do they ever?) and rebuilding a bridge with a friend that I'd been prepared to burn. I guess that's what last chances are for.

Current work playlist:
Misery - Maroon 5
Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes ft. Adam Levine
We Found Love - Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris (me and my housemate have been singing this on repeat recently ♥)
Lets Kill Tonight, New Perspective and Ready To Go - Panic! at the Disco
I Won't Let You Go - James Morrison
Tron Soundtrack
Ed Sheeran's whole album.

Oh, and because I haven't posted any of the photos yet, here's a little taste of the chaos that ensued last Monday on the 7-legged Bar Crawl :) xo.

Our theme was 'Sins in the City', and we decided to do a twist on them all; as 'Pride', I decided to spice things up by going as Gay Pride, which basically involved a lot of bright clothes and some awesome make-up!

Sloth (literally), Gluttony and Wrath.

Wrath, Pride, Sloth, Gluttony and Envy

The whole bunch of us :)

The 'being attached' part didn't last very long this year...

♥

In which Demi dithers

So, my life just got a little crazier. Along with my three midterm essay assignments being handed to me in three consecutive days (also due in on three consecutive days... fabbo), I've had to come to terms with the death of my grandmother this weekend. Of which, I can only really say that A) my friends are incredible, and have helped hold me together, and B) that my parents are NOT good at delivering bad news. Blunt much?

I've returned home for a week, orignially to have some peace and quiet (I love my housemates to pieces, but I work immesurably better up in the quiet of Yorkshire!) for my essays, and now coincidentally to attend the funeral.

Yet I'm already struggling to face either. Hence the dithering.

I almost feel like going for a run. Which is bizarre, because I don't run. Ever. I just feel like I've been on edge, full of nervous energy, ever since my first assignment was handed to me. Maybe it's my sole adrenal gland going haywire.

Wahh. Either way, I feel like something needs to happen. And I guess it will, soon enough.

RIP Nana ♥ xo.